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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 presetAs the post title suggests, I’m currently doing a super detox cleanse.  And also currently not quite as happy as I would wish to be.  Because I’m hungry.  And watching “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives” on the Food Network because why not torture myself a little bit more by salivating over these foods that I can’t eat anyway?  If I’m being honest I’ve also been stalking some Instagram feeds filled with beautiful pictures of food I want to eat right now please.  That started yesterday.  Day one.  Apparently I’m not very good at this.

This cleanse is coming after eight months of trying to get my health back to a stable place, so I’m really hoping and praying that this will help!  I recently started seeing a different doctor to get a second opinion on the natural medicine approach that I have chosen.  He took a look at all of the tests I’ve had done over the months and picked out some pretty important things that my previous doctor happened to overlook.  Like the fact that my body is extremely acidic, which means that it is not releasing toxins whatsoever.  So all of the nutritional deficiencies that I have going on in there is because my body is extremely toxic on the inside and the bad bacteria is eating the good.  Basically my body doesn’t know how to detox, hence a super detox cleanse.

I told myself that I can do anything for eight days.  It’s just eight days.  It’s a little too overwhelming for me at this point to be nearing the end of day two and think about six more days like this.  Of only being able to eat from a very small list of raw green vegetables.  Coupled with a chalky vegetable protein powder filled with gut-cleaning enzymes.  Or the yeast and bacteria killers I have to take every waking hour.  Or the concentrated aloe juice I have to drink four times a day that I’m not entirely convinced won’t kill me.  Have you ever tried to swallow that stuff?!  Ick!!

BUT it’s all for the sake of purging my body of all the toxins it apparently likes to collect.  And if this does finally kill off the rest of my bacteria infections and candida, I’ll be happy.  But I’m just so dang hungry!!  I now envy those people that buy those pretty little juice cleanses with the bottles all labeled choosing to do it out of their own free will.  That sounds delightful to me.  I never thought about how long it takes to eat raw vegetables.  By the time I chew up some broccoli, my jaw hurts and I don’t want it anymore.

The lucky people who are not me that go on this cleanse get to add grains into their diet starting on day five.  But me, I like to make things more hard because why not?  It builds character.  I recently found out I was allergic to what my doctor said was the “big four.”  I already knew about the dairy and gluten, but apparently I’m also allergic to soy and corn, because go big or go home, right?  I also have a list of about ten other foods I’m allergic to including basically every grain out there, but I’m hoping that cleansing my body will mean it will start to tolerate certain foods again.  Because if I was going to be stranded on a desert island and could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be tortilla chips and guacamole and I don’t want that taken away from me!

On a more serious side, I was worried heading into this cleanse because I feel like over the last months my body has just been so controlled by food.  Having to keep my blood sugars steady and planning my days around having meals because the second I don’t feel stable my anxiety spikes because it is so tied to my body in so many ways.  So I wasn’t sure if the lack of food these next eight days, especially having zero protein, would just mean one long week of intense anxiety.  But so far I have had none!  By the grace of God and my increasing knowledge of the essential oils I use to calm my anxiety, so far things have been okay.  I’m desperately hungry, but overall I’m generally happy.  I have a stack of books to read when I need to forget that I am hungry and Netflix is good and ready when I want that, too.  I wish I felt comfortable leaving the house…but let’s just say that there are some things going on that make me want to stay very close to home.  That and the headache that will not go away.  I only have two days to go off of so far, but mornings seem to be the worst.

I’m praying that this works, and that this will be the beginning of even more healing in my body.  I’ll always have some food restrictions, but I also want to be able to enjoy food.  I want to be able to participate around the table as food draws community together, appreciating one of life’s greatest joys–eating.  I’m already dreaming about what foods I plan to consume when this is over.  Although technically this is a 30 day cleanse, and after these eight days I add in foods more slowly.  All I know is that a week from today I’m allowed to eat eggs and chicken again and that sounds like heaven to me!

For now I’m going to continue watching the Food Network because you can’t stop me, and try to mentally prepare for another day.  I’ve been warned that day 3 is the worst.  We shall see.

Have you ever attempted a cleanse before?  People that willingly do this amaze me!

I want a cheeseburger.  With bread.

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