I paused behind this bench for a really long time and I thought of you. I thought of what it would be like to sit there beside you taking in the beauty of the lavender fields sloping down the mountain and beyond that to the coast and the mountains and the islands that could be seen in the distance. I wondered about what it would be like to sit beside you taking all that in and also sitting so close side by side holding pieces of each other’s hearts and knowing things about each other that don’t need to be said aloud. Taking a moment of time to be still and just rest in the beauty that surrounds us and in the comfortable and easy silence that I imagine surrounds two people that have been knit together by God.
I didn’t sit down–I didn’t feel like I could. I came to Maui all on my own before going to Oahu to visit my family. It was a place that I had been wanting to see for so many years–a childhood dream come true. And it didn’t disappoint. From the lovely beach and the warm turquoise water, to the tropic air and the sounds of the birds singing melodies all day long. The day that was one of the best days that I have ever lived where I drove to Hana and chased waterfalls and fell in the mud and walked through bamboo forests. It was all so gorgeous and breathtaking, yet in all of those moments, I thought about what it would be like to be there with you. To have a companion and adventure buddy and someone as excited about exploring this corner of the world as myself.
I’m glad that I went and had the chance to see these things that I have so longed to see, but it would have been even better with you by my side. Because I don’t need solo trips to empower me and teach me about myself–I’ve done all that in years past as I’ve traversed all across Europe on my own and went to live in England and be part of a missions team that I knew absolutely nothing about. I’ve spent years living on my own and doing life on my own. I think every person should have the chance to explore a corner of the world on their own because there is something so wonderful about finding yourself in situations where you only have yourself to fall back on and you realize a strength you never knew you had and suddenly you become more capable of more than you ever thought. And I’ve done all that, and I’m so thankful for it. But now? Now I don’t want to do it on my own anymore.
Today has been one of those days–one of those gorgeous days that just make me crave life in the fullest and make me want to get outside and seek adventure and just embrace the day, but I want to do it with you at my side. It was a day where I texted so many of my friends hoping someone was up for some sort of an adventure and everyone was busy or spending time with their spouses, and it may sound crazy but it’s also true–I miss you even though I don’t even know you yet. As more time continues to pass, it’s like that spot in my heart that is meant for you is growing and growing, and suddenly I can feel your absence in my life and I just want you to be there. So that we can explore and just embrace the day together and sit on a quiet bench and not have to say anything to each other but just be content being side by side because that is enough.
Someday. That’s what everyone says–someday it’s just going to happen. And I think about that from time to time–how it is just going to be an ordinary day like any other day but you’ll just be there all of a sudden and your life will cross paths with mine and it will be the beginning of something that maybe we’ll understand right from the start and maybe we won’t. I’m really hoping that “someday” is soon because my heart is bursting to share these adventures with you. I’m a better person for all that I have done on my own so far, but I’m also so ready to begin to live life with you and chase dreams and have someone that laughs with me when I fall in the mud looking for waterfalls and share a glass of lavender lemonade with (it’s life-changing) or simply sit on a bench with. There is so much that can’t be seen right now, but I do believe that our lives are being weaved together whether we know it or not, getting us ready for that someday that I really hope is almost today.
I’ve seen so much, and it has been amazing. And now I’m ready to see even more with you by my side. I’m ready for some new adventures and someone to share them with. And somewhere, wherever you are, that God that we both love with all our hearts is making you ready, too. Making us more like Him as we trust Him more and more, and somehow making us more ready for each as the time continues to pass. I’m trusting in the One that knows the true date of that “someday.” See you then.